A Vision

Our family was in a Passion Play Musical for ten years.  It was called "Compassion".  A musical drama about the last week of Christ's life, but from Peter's perspective.  The play opens with Old Peter in prison.  He knows the time has almost come for his execution, and in order to draw strength he talks about his life from the time Christ called him at the Sea of Galilee til the Resurrection.  Young Peter is a part of the production following Christ through all the scenes.  For the non-Christian or the Chrisian who is not well versed in the life of Christ, Old Peter fills in all the gaps.

My husband Marc played a few different apostles, but mainly his role was that of John, the Beloved disciple.  I play a few different roles, from an Archangel, to Mary, the mother of Christ, to my main role of the Samaritan Woman.  I had two Compassion pregnancies, talk about a new spin on the Samaritan Woman.  Our children also starred in roles from before they could walk, to sitting on Jesus' lap, to singing.  It was six weekends, from Ash Wedesday through Good Friday.  It was exhausting, but rewarding.

Many of our friends came out in support at least once to view the play.  Marc's dad even saw it when he was in from Virginia.  As usual, my parents came at least twice every year.  We made a lot of friends and called them our Compassion family.  I was also in charge of make-up, and had the honor of doing the make-up for Jesus, just so his eyeliner did not resemble that of Alice Cooper he would say. 

During our third season of the play, my mother-in-law lost her battle with cancer.  That year Compassion was dedicated to her memory.  That same year, three month later my dad died unexpectly of a massive heart attack.  Our Compassion family was there to support us through both.  The following year the play was dedicated to his memory.  But that following year, I lost some of my vigor for the play.  It would be different without my biggest fan.  I went through the motions, and because I am such a good actress, no one knew how much it bothered me or what I was missing.

During Act II, I did not have a huge part since it was mostly about the scheming Pharisees and Sadducees and the trial.  I spent alot of time back stage praying and thinking.  But this particular year, I was moping more than praying.  Around weekend three I was hiding in a good spot back stage.  No one knew where it was so I could be alone.  All of a sudden I got really warm, then felt a slight breeze, and thought I heard my dad's voice saying "I'm OK Paula, I'm happy".  I told no one because I figured they would think I was nuts.  A few weeks later, during the Pieta scene, I looked up because I thought I felt someone looking at me.  On the other side of the stage, next to the empty cross, I saw a vision of my dad, sitting there smiling.  I did a double take because I could not believe it. 

After that weekend, I talked to some friends about my experience.  I prayed about it.  I wrestled with it.  I figured out that God was unhappy that my heart was not in the ministry.  I figured out He needed to shake me up a little, send my a message that it was OK to move on. Obviously using the music and the ministry of the play was not working.  God will used whatever means possible to get your attention. 

The final song of the play is called "Trust in the Lord".  It is based on Proverbs 3:5:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will bless all your days.  This is what I needed to return to.  Yes, my dad was gone, he would never be in the audience to watch.  But my Heavenly Father is always watching.  He is always cheering for me.  He IS my biggest fan.  Hard to comprehend, but it's true.  But He wants so much more than to be in the audience watching.  He wants to be a part of my life.  He wants to walk beside me, hold my hand, be a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on.  He wants to hold me, comfort me, laugh with me.  Unless you really and truly Trust in Him with ALL your heart, and acknowledge Him in everything, he can't do that.  You see, the God I believe in, trust in, count on, is a gentleman.  He will not push Himself on you, barge into your life, and take over.  He is waiting for an invitation.  He will accept it. 

Are you willing to open your heart to Him.  Are you willing to open the door to Him.  In Revelation 3:20 Jesus says "Here I am, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."   He is waiting patiently.  Will you let him in?